Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
