thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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