don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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