The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
