Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have feelings that need drinking.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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