here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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