clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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