the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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