im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
