All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
