I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
