You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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