The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
