he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
