K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
