You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This is my gift to your gina
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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