very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize