he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
