brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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