I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
