No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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