Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
