btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
