I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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