pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
