just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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