Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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