How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
