i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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