I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
