my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
