She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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