he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
