But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
