Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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