Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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