So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize