that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
