I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
