what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
