Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
