He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
