I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
