so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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