found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize