I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
