i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
