I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
