soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
