He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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