there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
