she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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