the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize