Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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