im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
