he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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