She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
