so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
