we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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