You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
