If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
