plz talk dirty to me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
