Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
