im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
