Well apparently he's into motor boating.
well you can't waste a boner
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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