we're blogging at a bar
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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