Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
