yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
