If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are two peas in an std pod
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
