Do you still have your period?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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