Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
