What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think your dad took our porno
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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