That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
