so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
