Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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