i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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