mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Randomize
