I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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