she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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