One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
