Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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