I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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