Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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