I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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