Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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